


Always

by orphan_account



Category: IT (2017)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Pennywise (IT), Angst, M/M, One Shot, but it's implied to be romantic, this could be platonic if you wanted it to be
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-16
Updated: 2018-07-16
Packaged: 2019-06-11 05:53:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15308877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Richie Tozier decides to visit an old friend.





	Always

When was the last time Richie Tozier was in the little town of Derry, Maine? Possibly... that's right, seven years. He had moved away to pursue his dream in music, to be the first huge rockstar from a town like that. He was successful, often times being high up on the charts, getting gigs all over California, being interviewed on the radio fairly often. His least favorite question was when someone asked where he was from--it would take him a few seconds to respond. "Uh... Derry, Maine," he would say quietly.

"Such a small town!" the interviewer said. "Do you have any family there? How often do you visit?"

That was the first time he really thought about the last time he was there. "I do, yeah," he said. "I haven't been there in seven years. It's a quiet town, not a lot of tremendously interesting stuff. I much prefer Hollywood."

As soon as that radio show was done, he left the building, leaned against the outer wall, pulled out his phone, and booked a flight for Maine. It's been a while. Maybe it was time he returned.

***

He was well known. Everyone knew of him. They didn't necessarily like his music all that much, but they didn't hate it either. It was fine by Richie--he could focus on what he was there to do.

There was a graveyard located directly next to a church. This church is where he and Beverly Marsh would sneak in with Ben Hanscom and listen to her play the piano. This is where Mike Hanlon and Stanley Uris had an in depth conversation about religion while he listened. So many memories from this one place that he had forgotten.

It was already cold, leaving Richie in the heaviest coat he owned and an arsty scarf wrapped around his neck, his cheeks and nose turning a light shade of pink behind a pair of Ray Ban glasses. As soon as he stepped foot past the gate of the graveyard, it was colder. His heart seemed to pick up speed as he got closer to a familiar stone with the last name of 'Kaspbrak' carved into it. Once he was standing directly in front of it, the beat seemed to slow drastically. He was holding a bundle of stargazer lilies in one hand.

"Hey, Eds," he said aloud, pausing, as if waiting for him to respond. He sat in front of the stone, placing the flowers in front of it. "Sorry. I know you didn't like it when I called you Eds." He smiled to himself. "I probably seem crazy talking to you right now, even though you can't talk back."

He listened to the wind blowing in his ears. He was convinced that if he payed close attention to the whistling, Eddie would speak to him through it. "I know it's been a while since you've last seen me. I've been busy. You wouldn't believe it--I'm living in Hollywood. I'm sort of a celebrity now, I don't know... I hate that word."

After moments of silence, air bubbles began to clog up Richie's windpipe, and tears were collecting in his eyes. He wiped them away with his sleeve. "Fuck, man, I... I hate it when I cry in front of you. Makes me feel like such a pussy." He removed his glasses and pressed his face into his knuckles. "I hate it when you see me without my glasses, too."

He put them back on his nose, pushing his black curls back on his head and just accepting that he wasn't going to stop crying anytime soon. "I fucking hate everything. I mean, I love what I do, I love that I'm pursuing a good career, I love that I have friends, but, goddamn, without you it hurts. You've always told me how much you believed in me, and I want you to be here to see that I'm doing what I've always wanted to do, and I want to share these moments with you. Why did you have to go, Eddie? Why? I know it's been so fucking long, but I can't move on. I don't think I ever will."

His shaky hands formed into a fist and he sounded like a toddler throwing a tantrum. "I don't want to be with anyone else," he choked out through sobs, "I want to be with you for the rest of my life. Always."

Richie cried into his knees for the next few minutes, letting his pent-up anger relieve itself in the form of salty tears just pouring down his face. Instantly he felt a huge weight fall off of his shoulders. It felt good to get that rant out.

Even if Eddie couldn't hear him, wherever he was, he was glad he put his emotions into words. He would be proud of him. Richie was never good at expressing how he felt, but he just did.

"I'm sorry," Richie whimpered. "I really am. Sorry that you have to hear me spew this bullshit."

He imagined that Eddie would say something like, "It isn't bullshit. Don't call your emotions bullshit. Face them like they're important, because they are. They're important."

Richie stood up and placed his hands in his coat pockets. "I should leave, shouldn't I..." he said. "I have some work to do tomorrow at home. It's, like, a five hour flight back. So I should be on my way to leaving."

He sniffled one last time and took a long look at the flowers he placed on the ground. "I love you, Eddie. So much. I hope that... um... wherever you are, whatever section of heaven you live in... you're happy."

He blew a kiss to the stone and was on his way to the airport.

**Author's Note:**

> i tried


End file.
